Sunday, May 27, 2012
Where ever you go, there you are.
"I am patient. I am present. I am peaceful"
As we approach the end of May, I am slowly coming to terms with my new surroundings. The transition has been emotionally challenging and has inspired consistent growth. I'm so blessed to have my family, friends all over, a beautiful house to stay in, delicious colorful nutritious food, and my sweet kitties to help make my days easier and brighter.
One of my roommates hooked me up with a job within less than a week of living out here! Most my week days are filled with trimming medical marijuana from 8:30-5ish. I find so much gratitude as I work with all organic beautifully grown precious medicine. The medical marijuana industry is changing lives for the better. Our dispensary works to inspire their patients to ease off of the poisonous & addictive pharmaceutic "medicine" and turning them on to CBD oils and rock butter concentrates. Its nice to be working in an industry that provides relief for its patients and works to legalize this amazing plant from God.
I think of my Portland loves all the time. When I wake up, all throughout the day, as I lay down at night. My first two and half weeks were filled with several daily cry sessions. It hits me like a brick wall and I drop to my knees and sob. "It's not easy to be healing" Therefore, I will not feel embarrassment for my moments of weakness. I also acknowledge my bratty attitude at times. I just break and buckle and only wish to run to where I feel safe and already established.
Words from a dear friend Lacye :)
"Pushing boundaries is what our art is all about, Megz. Sometimes we have to take what we learn from our hoops and apply it to our lives. When things fall down, maybe we are giving TOO much, or NOT enough. We have to celebrate the fall. Knowing that to give it a name like "failure" takes the beauty of the movement away. I love you and know you can make ANYTHING work. You have to believe in yourself. Because in the end, that is all that matters. People can support and love you, but it will never make a difference if you do not love and support you first. HOME is where YOU are. Mother earth is your home, and you are free to travel about. Your friends will love you and be here for you NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE. Being vulnerable? Incredible experience. Being uncomfortable? Expansion in new territory"
I'm working on finding the safety of "home" within my heart. Realizing mother earth is my home and I am free to travel and roam. Portland wasn't my first home, Virginia was, and as I have adjusted before I will again. My first priority is to get my own place. Build a place where I feel so safe, happy and secure I never need to leave. I see hardwood floors, sunlight, high ceilings, beautiful backyard. I am now attracting all that I desire for my new life here.
I am perfectly capable of building a brand new amazing beautiful successful life in Denver, CO.
I've got my head up and my heart open. I feel the strength I've gained through the torture and sadness of the last 8 months of my life. I'm playing the music loud and swaying to the rhythm of love. My heart is filled with gratitude and sunlight.
Plus, I've got the sweetest most precious kitty to love on. He's got my back through it all.